


Tax Deductions for Businesses and Self-Employed Individuals

by DJClawson



Series: Theodore Nelson's Adventures in Sharing a Workspace [36]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Dogs, F/M, M/M, Obnoxious cat, Roadtrips, There was only one bed!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26733484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJClawson/pseuds/DJClawson
Summary: Business trips can be expensive. You gotta cut corners somewhere.
Relationships: Frank Castle/Karen Page, Matt Murdock/Theo Nelson
Series: Theodore Nelson's Adventures in Sharing a Workspace [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1202407
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	Tax Deductions for Businesses and Self-Employed Individuals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Callistemon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callistemon/gifts).



> Special thanks to LachesisMeg, who can somehow still concentrate on editing this nonsense during a pandemic.
> 
> I changed Max's gender from the TV show because I don't care.

“I have to go to Pennsylvania,” Theo said. He looked at his boyfriend’s face and realized he might as well have said he was going to the moon - and he hadn’t actually been there. Just very close. 

“You don’t have to keep trying to outdo yourself,” Foggy said from across the table, where he was picking at the last of his dinner. “You went to space. We _get it_.”

Since Matt couldn’t make eye contact, Theo looked at Karen, who hid her smile. Theo wasn’t sure how much Foggy had decided to believe of that story and now it was a thing. Matt had believed him immediately, but he was, well, _Matt_. 

“I have to go for work,” Theo insisted as he worked on his second drink. They were eating out at a mid-sized Italian restaurant on the firm’s dime, or more specifically, the dime of a client who worked there and was happy to have the time for his drug charges reduced to community service. “There’s an organic yak farm that’s supposed to be good.”

“And they want you pick them out before you buy them?” Foggy said, because he knew Theo _hated_ that aspect of it. “Like lobsters?”

“Dad visited any new supplier,” Theo said. “At least once. We even went to Maryland once. Rented a van. I was so excited that the hotel had HBO. That was the coolest thing in the world to me.”

“Where was I?”

“ ... Theater camp? The year that you did, um, I think it was Into the Woods and we had to go see it.”

“I was the Baker,” Foggy said proudly.

“The props were shit. The cardboard trees kept falling down.”

“Yeah, it was a scholarship-based theater camp, what did you want?” 

“I’m sure you made a convincing baker,” Matt said in that voice of his that didn’t make it entirely clear how much of it was at Foggy’s expense. “How far is the farm?”

“Pennsylvania’s not far. Philly’s three hours from here if the traffic is light,” Karen said.

“It’s not in Philly. It’s more like ten hours from here. Southwest part of the state.”

“Have you ever driven that far?” she asked.

“On my own? No.” It took him a moment to realize why she wanted to know. “Oh - I wasn’t asking to borrow your car. I could understand why you wouldn’t want to do that.”

Karen leaned back and considered it. “I might be willing - but only if you had a second driver. And not Foggy.”

“Hey! If you can drive in Manhattan, you can drive anywhere,” Foggy interjected.

“You can barely drive in Manhattan,” Karen said knowingly. “Theo, find someone to go with you.”

It was a tempting offer. It would be at least an overnight trip, so he was paying out for a motel and gas. “I have to think about it. I can’t take an employee - the shop needs to stay open. I don’t think I can leave Saturday night and make it back Monday morning on my own.”

There was a thoughtful pause, and then Karen said, “Frank would probably go.”

“Frank?” He didn’t specify which Frank, but it was still his automatic response.

“I’d have to ask him,” Karen said. “He won’t admit it, but he hates the city. Especially Manhattan. He’ll do anything to get out for a few days, and I just can’t take the time off work. And he’s an excellent driver.”

In other words, someone she would trust with her car. But there was a part of Theo’s brain that hadn’t completely wiped away the memory of Frank the Punisher who almost killed his cousin to Frank the minigolfer. Maybe it was because Frank didn’t exactly hang around Hell’s Kitchen. 

He looked over at Matt, who just looked ... amused? Sometimes it was hard to tell. But there was no way he was asking Matt to join him for what might be a very awkward trip otherwise because carsickness would be a terrible way for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen to go out. 

“I’ll think about it,” Theo said. “Thank you for the offer.”

“Just so you know, I love him, but his taste in music is garbage.” 

“Noted,” Theo said, and finished his beer. 

“I was insulted,” Matt said later, back in Theo’s apartment, “that you didn’t immediately think of me.” 

“I did think of you. That’s why I didn’t invite you.”

“I could drive. It doesn’t seem hard. There’s only two pedals,” Matt insisted. “Better than you taking a road trip with Frank.”

“I hang out with guys I am way more into than Frank all the time. I’ve even fucked some of them.”

“Ah, so you admit it.”

“Fuck you,” Theo said. “And you’re lucky he’s a psychopath. And I don’t say that as an insult. I’m just telling it like it is.”

“I think it’s more emotional scarring and brain trauma,” Matt said, though he wasn’t really arguing with him. “Definitely don’t bring that up if you get to the motel and there’s only one bed.”

“Motels always have twins, why do people think they don’t?” Theo said. “I honestly hadn’t thought it through. Do you think I could tell him no guns? Does he always have guns?”

“He wouldn’t need guns,” was what Matt said to that. And he was probably right. “Danny would probably take you. A petting zoo sounds like something he would be into.”

“He’s in Thimphu.”

“What’s Thimphu?”

“The capital of a small Himalayan country between India and Nepal,” Theo said. But he’d had to look it up. “Shit, why don’t I have more friends?”

“I’m your friend.”

“ - Who can spontaneously go on a boring trip across a boring state with me?”

“Just find a podcast you both like,” Matt suggested. He was just too amused by all of this. “Probably should stay away from true crime.”

“Matt, I love you, but I’m going to murder you.”

“Then I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to hang out with Frank.”

Matt was lucky that Theo had spent too much on his wireless video game controller to hit him with it. Again.

The thing was that Theo really did need another driver. He had never driven that far in his lifetime. So he called Karen and asked for Frank’s number, then texted him. 

Frank texted back.

**_Yeah ok_ **

**_Karen says I should let you pick the music_ **

Theo had to give it to Karen - when she had people’s backs, she _really_ had people’s backs.

On Saturday morning, Theo opened the store and handed Deon the keys to close, then returned to his apartment with Matt. Frank pulled up in Karen’s car, and a dog leapt out of the passenger seat. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Theo knelt down to greet the gigantic grey pitbull with an expression of love on its face. “Who is this?”

“Max,” Frank said. “You like dogs?”

“I like animals,” he said. “You have a sidekick?”

“Nah, her fighting days are over,” Frank said. “I hope you don’t mind - she loves cars rides and nature. I thought it would be nice for her.”

Max licked Theo’s face as he scratched her behind the ears. She had scars on her face. “Okay, but I’m not walking her.”

When he stood up, Max immediately went over to Matt, who patted her on the head. And this was a guy who insisted he didn’t want a dog. 

Frank nodded in Matt’s direction. “Red.”

“Frank.”

Theo wondered if they were always ridiculously formal with each other. “So the food is in the fridge. Tonight and tomorrow morning and tomorrow night if I’m back late. Don’t let her go hungry.”

“You know, I heard Luke might be back in town.”

“Don’t be a pussy.”

  
  


Max did love the car, and was happy in the backseat, thumping her wagging tail against the fabric and staring out the window.

“Why do you have a nickname for my boyfriend?” Because Theo had to ask before they even made it to the bridge.

“He didn’t exactly introduce himself,” Frank said. “I had to call him something. Why? Do you have nicknames for your boyfriend?”

“None that I’m going to share with you,” Theo answered without any particular viciousness. Karen’s car was so old it still had a tape deck - Theo had to connect his phone to the audio via a cassette adapter. “What do you want to listen to? I have a lot of music. And an Audible subscription. If we do ‘We Were Eight Years in Power’ that’ll last most of the trip.” 

“Is that the book Luke’s doin’ this month?”

“Yeah, he sends me a link.”

“I looked at it. No offense to Luke, but I’m more of a fiction guy. I’ve had the Brother Karamazov on my shelf forever if you want to look that up.”

“The Russian book? You’re reading Russian literature?”

“I’m trying, but it’s pretty boring. I think I might give up after this one.”

“I should read more,” Theo said. He checked the app. “Um, thirty-seven hours. Gonna veto that one.”

“There’s a podcast about me. I haven’t listened to it.”

“The one that the firm refused to be interviewed for? No, I watched your whole case. We had a TV going in the back of the shop. That was enough for me.”

“I didn’t know you were a fan.”

“It was more bafflement at watching Foggy flush his career down the tube. We were rooting for him, but we weren’t rooting for him, because we weren’t rooting for you. No offense.”

“None taken,” Frank said, with the confidence of a man who had been convicted of forty-six murders. Or was it thirty-six? Theo couldn’t remember. “How about alternative music?”

“Alternative was my whole childhood,” Theo said. “Let’s do this.”

  
  


“We need to talk,” Matt said.

Sadie, as usual, ignored him. Her tail did twitch, but it usually did when people who were not Theo were in the room. She had involuntarily perked up when he came in the apartment just enough to sense he was there, then went straight back to pretending he wasn’t. Matt really didn’t know how intelligent cats were, but they were definitely capable of deciding to be rude to certain people. Not that Sadie was very rude to him - she positively went into attack mode the moment Foggy came in the the apartment, even if she didn’t actually attack. It was more like Sadie _tolerated_ Matt, possibly because he smelled like blood and fed her. 

“I didn’t want to say anything in front of Theo,” Matt said, “but you have to stop taking my stuff.”

Her collection was usually behind the laundry hamper in the closet, a regular nesting ground of hers. She regularly scooped up and rehomed Theo’s things there, but Theo had endless patience for this particular cat.

_“It’s not a big apartment,” Theo had said. “How far can this stuff really go? If something’s really lost it’s because I was too drunk or high to put it back in the right place. That’s not on her.”_

Theo let Sadie be a cat. He also let Matt be Daredevil; this didn’t escape Matt’s notice.

Tonight, with Theo gone, Matt could finally sort through the closet and find every last pair of glasses, pens, and office supplies. And an unopened pack of bandaids. Why would she even want that? 

“These are expensive,” Matt told Sadie as he pulled out yet another pair of glasses from under a pile of clothes. At least this pair was salvageable and hadn’t been accidentally crushed. 

Sadie stood in the doorway and did not react with any concern. She was only paying attention to him because she hadn’t eaten yet. She followed him around, basically stalking him until he pulled her pre-made dinner out of the fridge. Tonight was duck - a rarity - and tomorrow was ground chuck. Usually Theo gave her less fatty options but he was aware of what a good mood she was already in when he left.

Matt set down her bowl with tonight’s combination of duck and fancy feast when he heard his phone. _Luke. Luke. Luke_. The phone wasn’t great at one-syllable names. He hit his screen. “Hey.”

“Hey. I don’t know if you’re busy, but I could use your help tonight.”

Matt didn’t ask what it was about. He didn’t talk ops over the phone, especially with an FBI informant. But Luke didn’t sound stressed about it. “Should I wear my suit and tie?”

“Both outfits, maybe? Could you bring both? I’m not sure yet.” Luke not to get more specific. “I can come by. Is the shop open?”

“No, Theo’s on a business trip.”

“Business trip? Damnit.” Luke definitely stifled a more serious curse. “He makes amazing pulled pork.”

“I’m aware. You can pick me up at his place.”

“What are you doing at his place?”

In the distance, Sadie was gulping down her food. She really liked duck. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but we’ve been seeing each other for a while now. I know, we’ve been subtle about it.”

“Jerk,” Luke replied. “I’m coming over! Don’t come down. I’ll come up.”

“Why would you want to - “

But Luke hung up. Matt had his suspicions. He busied himself making sure everything was ready in his black emergency outfit backpack until Luke knocked on the door. 

“Sadie!” Luke said, because of course he did. Sadie was long done with her meal and looked up from the bed in surprise and ... not fear, precisely, but she did get to her to her feet in record time, her back slightly arched in apprehension.

“What did you do to her?” Matt asked, amused.

“Nothing! I like cats,” Luke said. He sat down on the edge of the bed, causing a considerable depression in the mattress, and Sadie mewed at him and dug her claws into the bedspread. “Well, I like this cat. Especially if I don’t have to clean up after her. And she likes me back.”

Sadie hissed. She did not like him back. But it wasn’t quite her reaction to Foggy, which was pure malice. She lowered her head as if sizing up an opponent.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Matt said, but Luke leaned over anyway and reached out to pat Sadie on the head. 

She responded by biting - or trying to bite - his hand, and she got her teeth around one of his fingers, and then her whole body got involved as she clawed and tried to get hold of Luke’s arm as if it were a chew toy. It was just a moving one she couldn’t destroy.

“Probably shouldn’t let her do this,” Luke said. “She might learn to bite people.”

“She already knows how to bite people.” Matt smiled, and couldn’t bring himself to stop Luke from turning himself into Sadie’s new object of destruction.

  
  


Theo didn’t mean to sleep a lot of the way, but they were only halfway across Jersey when he passed out and woke up in Pennsylvania. Frank was an amazing driver, and Max was an amazing rider. She didn’t make a peep until they pulled into a rest stop. And she even played fetch! Frank brought a frisbee! Frank Castle owned a frisbee!

“I wanted a dog as a kid,” Theo said as they sat on a picnic table watching her tire herself out. “But we lived in the city and Pop said there was nowhere good to walk it every day and that he would end up taking it around and around the same block and he was probably right.”

“I take her to Riverside Park,” Frank said. Karen and Frank lived on the Upper West Side, but Theo had never been to their place. “She still has a mean bark, and people are scared of pit bulls. I don’t think her old owner gave her enough exercise.”

“Who owned her before you?”

“Some mobster. Kitchen Irish. Didn’t get his name.”

“Please tell me you weren’t convicted of his murder.”

Frank sipped his coffee. “I won’t.”

“Oh my fucking G-d,” Theo said. “Why do I even ask this shit anymore. And the cops let you take her?”

“Nah, she was in a shelter for a long time, but Karen is good at finding out things.”

“Foggy said she didn’t know Matt was Daredevil for _forever_.”

“Maybe she was giving her employer the benefit of the doubt. Also he should have told her. How did you find out?”

“He told me.”

“Would you have guessed?”

“Fuck, no I would never have guessed,” Theo admitted. “Foggy’s words, not mine.”

“You gonna throw your brother under the bus like that?”

“Pretty much. He’s smart enough to talk his way out of it.”

Frank threw him a look, which Theo ignored.

Theo took the wheel after that, and they got most of Pennsylvania done and reached the motel not terribly far from the farm. There was only one bed in the room, which Theo was fine with, as he had booked a separate room for Frank and Max on the shop credit card like the business professional that he was. It was cool and muggy, but never in his life had he more desperately wanted to be able to walk around and enjoy not being in a car. 

“Can you watch her?” Frank said as he let Max into Theo’s room. “I need a drink. There’s a place down the road.”

Theo offered the company card and said, “Don’t drink and drive.”

“It’s walkable.” Frank refused the offered form of payment and left. 

The motel advertised a pool but there was no way Theo was going near it, so he sat on the bench in front of his room and took slow hits on his vape pen, trying desperately to make sure none of the smoke went near Max even though she was eager to be in his lap (she was much too large for that) or in his face. 

Frank didn’t race back, so Theo had a decent buzz going when he called Matt with one hand and tossed a stick that Max made no move to fetch in another. 

“Hey,” Matt said when he picked up.

“Hey.” Theo tried not to sound stoned. “I’m in Pennsylvania. And alive. No one got murdered. Not even a little.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“I’m playing fetch with a dog.”

“Sounds like you’re having fun.” Yeah, Matt definitely knew he was high. “Luke wants to know if we can take Sadie on a mission.”

“Um, no.” Theo stared at Max, as if she could help him figure out what was being said. “Why are you hanging out with Luke without me?”

“Because you’re in Pennsylvania,” Matt said. “But also because he does need me for a real thing. And maybe Sadie.”

“She wouldn’t like it.”

“I haven’t said what we’re doing.”

“Please tell Luke to please, please, please fuck himself. But politely. Ah shit, I didn’t mean that. Don’t say that. But I swear to G-d if I come home and Sadie is missing an ear or something - “

“Luke and I are very responsible petsitters and you know it,” Matt said. “You can go back to vaping with the Punisher’s dog.”

“I hate you.” 

“Love you, too.”

Theo groaned and Max, as if sensing his displeasure, came right up and put her snout against his knees. She was a real people-pleaser. He couldn’t imagine her as a vicious whatever-she-was-doing-with-the-mob dog. 

“Good girl,” Frank said out of nowhere, the stealthy asshole he was, and Max abandoned Theo to come running to Frank’s side. Theo cursed and shoved his pen in his pocket in what was probably the most conspicuous way possible. Frank tilted his head and said, “Don’t you have a thing with your lungs?”

“One of them has less capacity. Trust me, this is me cutting way back. Also I don’t want to be an alcoholic by the time I’m forty, thank you.” He noticed Frank still had a half-empty beer bottle in his hand. “Oh, um, I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just - we’re all super Irish.”

Frank sat down next to him, as if they hadn’t spent enough time together today. Still, Theo wasn’t exactly capable of being angry right now. And he didn’t really want to be angry about Frank.

“Lisa’s birthday was today.”

“Fuck,” Theo said. “Was she - shit, I don’t know if she was your wife or your - “

“Daughter.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t - “

Frank looked him right in the eyes. “There’s no reason why you would know. I wasn’t going to mention it.”

“Is that why Karen kicked you out of the house?”

“No. She’s very supportive. But this trip happened to come up and she felt it was better than wallowing in the city where they died.”

“Was she right?” It wasn’t an appropriate question to ask, Theo realized belatedly. 

“I don’t know.”

“Is there something I can .... I dunno, say?” 

Frank shook his head. “This isn’t something you can make right. Some things just can’t be made right.”

“I’m still sorry. It must be hard.” Well, he could certainly get mad at himself. “That sounded so fucking stupid.”

“There isn’t a right thing to say, either.” Frank worked on his beer, even though there was just a tiny bit left at the bottom of the bottle. “Some things are always going to hurt.”

Theo could understand that much.

The morning visit to the farm was surprisingly uneventful. It was run by hippies in their late twenties - not a huge surprise - with a lot of Tibetan prayer flags blowing in the wind. But they did seem to know something about animal husbandry, and the yaks were grass fed and healthy. And bigger than Theo expected. 

“So how do you kill them?” he said while petting a friendly white yak on the snout.

“Captive bolt stunning. There’s a ritual way to do it in Nepal, but it takes like five guys and it’s brutal. Do you want to see me do it?”

“Absolutely not,” Theo said. “It’s the only part of this process I can’t handle.”

They discussed recipes, and the guy - whose Dharma name was Sonam despitebeing from Minnesota and whiter than Theo - showed him the different cuts in the slaughter house, a good distance away from the fields. It looked organic and humane enough. Sonam told him about his time in Nepal; Theo talked about traveling in India with his biggest customer. Needless to say, Sonam had never heard of any of Danny’s K’un-Lunian recipe requests. 

As disturbing as it was to know their fates, it was fun to play with animals, even if one yak was particularly interested in devouring his shoes. They went over some paperwork, and Theo carried back fresh meat for the cooler in the trunk of the car, where Frank was waiting patiently as Max rolled around in the grass. This was definitely an outdoor dog.

Theo checked his messages before they took off and found about thirty pictures of Luke and Sadie - all taken by Luke, obviously - and most were blurs, but it did seem like he hadn’t taken her out on a night of crimefighting.

 **_She misses you_ **, Luke texted with a picture of Sadie standing next to Matt’s feet and glaring up at Luke. 

“I think we have to go rescue my cat before Luke enlists her in the Defenders,” he said to Frank.

“From what I’ve heard,” Frank replied, “she could hold her own.”

The drive back was not quite as brutal as the way, at least for the first half, before Theo started to get antsy. Frank had a bigger tolerance for long drives, and he did most of the driving without being asked. They managed through a couple of Gogol’s short stories, but Theo dozed and when he woke, the sound system was off.

“You don’t need music to keep you awake?” he asked.

“I like the quiet,” Frank said. “People think war is noisy, but it’s not. Most of the time, you’re listening to the wind and your own breathing.”

Theo didn’t know how many tours Frank had done, just that he had been a marine and was in Afghanistan at one point. But that was a long time ago. 

“If you like the quiet, why do you live in city?”

“It’s hard to get away from it. Lots of work to do. But I take breaks,” he admitted. “And Karen loves it. I can’t imagine her cooped up in a house somewhere, working on a garden while I mow the lawn. That’s not her and that’s not me.”

Theo wondered if Frank’s wife - damn, he did not remember her name - was the gardening type. Probably. The reference was too specific. “I’ve never not lived in the city. I don’t know how to live anywhere else.”

“Still, a lawn would be nice. For Max.” Frank reached back and gave Max a poorly-aimed scratch on the head. She was always ready and waiting for attention from the people in the front seat. “Some green space. Someday.”

So Frank did have the ability to think long-term. With Karen. Theo decided not to say anything about that. 

They pulled up to Theo’s apartment well after sundown, but not too late to get some sleep before opening in the morning. Matt must have smelled their car or whatever, because he was waiting on the sidewalk.

“Ow,” Theo said as he climbed out of the car. One of his legs was asleep and the other was stiff. He practically hopped over and leaned into Matt’s arms. “Hi.”

Matt smelled like fresh laundry and the cologne he wore for church. “Hi. So did you make friends with the yaks?”

“They are cuter than I thought they would be. Which is a shame, because I’ve got a whole bunch of meat in my cooler that I’m gonna try not to think about the origin of.” He steadied himself as Max joined them, happily sniffing Matt. Max was happy to see everybody. “Please tell me I never have to ride in a car again.”

Matt smiled. “Frank was that bad?”

“Frank drove so much he eats free from now on.” 

“Don’t think you were charging me before,” Frank said unhelpfully.

“Thanks for getting him home safe,” Matt said to Frank, “but you both smell like a farm.”

Theo thanked Frank as well, making a note to send him a card or something when he had his head on straight, but right now he needed to not be moving. He needed to soak and scrub his hair and maybe do some laundry before passing out. Matt, because he was the perfect boyfriend, had ordered in and Theo could eat fresh vegetables he hadn’t picked up from a Mennonite stand on the side of the road. 

"So what did you do with Luke?" Theo said between mouthfuls of pho. 

"Oh, he just wanted me help with some recon. He needed my ears for something." It was better when Matt didn't specify what he was up to, for both of them.

“Should I ask why Sadie has a gold chain around her neck?” he said when he had the wherewithal to notice it as Sadie emerged from under the bed to follow him around the apartment. 

“What’s more mysterious is why she hasn’t gotten it off yet. She hasn’t even tried.”

Theo knelt down and gave Sadie a scratch behind her ears. “I think you might be hanging out with the wrong crowd.”

She mewed at him. The meaning was open to interpretation as she rubbed herself against his pants and purred.

“At least I know someone isn’t cheating on me,” he said, “but I think it’s Matt.”

Because Matt just had to say something: “Hey, was there only one bed?”

Theo gave him the finger.

The End


End file.
